Checklists

I'm addicted to checklists. Lists of what has to be done for school, for primary, around the house, inside closets, for bills, for committees, what to buy at the store, what to do while the kids are in lessons, who needs to be called, e-mailed--you name it, I make a list out of it. I keep a notebook on my bedside table to jot down anything I might have left off of my list for the next day-or any of my other lists. Having a checklist (or a lot of them) keeps me sane--more than anything else, I have lists because I tend to have a hard time staying focused on one thing at a time. I bounce all over the place. With a list I can organize my thoughts about every activity, everything in my life and make sure that it gets done.

Now, this doesn't mean everything on my list gets done. I wouldn't sleep if that were the case. Sometimes I still forget things. But most of what I write down does get done. And it doesn't mean that if I call you that you're on my list of people to call--sometimes I just call. And I can be spontaneous, too, throughout the day. It's just that having a list helps out my organization. A lot.

But this week I hit my breaking point.

I'm sure everyone has lists--I mean, how could you keep track of everything if you didn't?--so I don't think I'm different by any means. But on Wed. it hit me. My whole Wed (and really this whole week) had become nothing but a checklist. And not in a good way. I mean, I was literally running the checklist through my head the entire day--really, the whole week--and then double checking what was in my head with what I had written down. I don't think a few minutes went by when I wasn't mentally checking off items. Here's an example of my thoughts on Wed: Wake up (check), contacts-very important! (check), vitamins (check), e-mail (check), breakfast (check), teeth (check), kids ready/drive to school--don't forget libe books (check), vaccum (check), bake cupcakes for trunk-or-treat (check), (is this sounding familiar to all of you yet?) clean kitchen (check), babysitting co-op (check), frost cupcakes-remember sprinkles (check), phone calls (check), games in bag for trunk-or treat (check)--that's about it by 10:30 a.m. I won't bore you with all the rest of the exciting details of my Wed. I won't even go into what Sunday was like with the primary program, or Friday with class parties and meetings. You would be bored to death.

Please note: This isn't a "look how busy I am" post. Everyone I know is just as busy--most of you are busier!--and I think that being busy is a good thing! This is a post about balance because I this week I was actually saying "check" in my head once something was done!! I could hear myself saying it!! And it wasn't just for big things--it was for things like "wipe off the counters" (check). I wondered if I needed to check myself into some kind of institution or help group. What would that be called? List Makers Anonymous?

This realization has made me do some inner soul searching (and no, I didn't make a list of what I needed to do to search my soul although some weeks I might have). Have I actually become so obsessed with lists in my life that I'm talking to myself--which really isn't too bad, but saying "check" to the list in your head? How crazy is that? What if I couldn't accomplish everything on my list--or at least the majority of it? What would happen?

Truthfully, I shudder to think about that. But this week I think I've learned that I need to cut back on the lists a little. I have to make sure that I'm not ignoring what's really most important in order to cross an item off my list. And I really don't think that I do that too much, but sometimes I become a drill sargeant with my kids--because they should know that I have a list and that we have to get X done by 7 p.m. so that we still have time for showers and books before bed. And don't they know that dishes have to be done by 6:45?

Is this good or bad? I think my lists are good for the most part. They really do keep me going. But like anything else I think we (meaning me) can get so caught up in the getting done that we (meaning me) really don't stop and smell the roses along the way. Perspective has hit me straight in the face this week.

So maybe I should cut back on the lists. Well...maybe just a little bit. I'd better go make a list about how to do that:)

Random Thoughts

This is my--"I'm-catching-up-with-blogging-post"--which means that it's filled with a lot of pics and thoughts that really don't go together, except that it's all part of our lives...

Sat. night there was a 5th anniversary celebration for Chris' group. His group has grown from one neonatologist to 7 in that time--a pretty amazing accomplishment, one that speaks to the kind of people he works with. We had a great time celebrating!

A professional photographer took pics throughout the evening, but I thought this pose of his group just looked too much like it could be taken at a high school prom. Earlier on Sat. I went to Time Out for Women with a group of friends (I forgot my camera so I don't have a picture of us). I have mixed feelings about my experience. Was it a complete commercial for Deseret Book? Yah, pretty much--I mean, there was a whole bookstore set up in the back of the hall-- but I did enjoy the speakers. I felt uplifted and really gained some good insight, had great belly laughs and enjoyed the company of my friends. And I ran into some friends from our old Missouri stake there. However, if Kenneth Cope had played one more song and I mean-just one more song-I would have jumped out a window. I couldn't take any more schmaltzy:) Would I go again? Depends on who was scheduled to speak. If it were Kris Belcher, I would definately be there. She was absolutely hilarious.

While I was at TOFW, Chris took the kids to Deanna Rose Farm to pick out pumpkins. I truly owe him for this one, because with a lot of other things going on this weekend, it was so not what he wanted to do. We had planned to go last weekend (only 40 degrees!), then on Thursday (pouring rain!), Friday (soggier than soggy). This was our conversation Friday night:

Me: We have to take the kids to the pumpkin patch to pick out a pumpkin!

Chris: Let's just take them to Wal-Mart--they're only $4 there.

Me: No, we need to go to a pumpkin patch!!

Chris: Really, I think it's just going to be Wal-Mart this year.

Me: But we haven't missed driving to a farm, going out into the patch and picking out our pumpkins for 13 years! It's our TRADITION!

Chris: Just this once it will be alright. It just hasn't worked out this year.

Me: OUR KIDS WILL BE SCARRED FOR LIFE IF THEY DON'T GO TO A PUMPKIN PATCH THIS YEAR!! THEY WILL NOT HAVE ANY GOOD MEMORIES!!

I'm a little into tradition, if you can't tell-and maybe a few dramatics . So Chris-being the good husband that he is-took the kids to pick out pumpkins. And although it wasn't actually picking them out of a patch, they still got to go on a hayride, walk through a corn maze and had a grand time! Chris even took pics for me!

We've figured out a magical way to get the kids to help with the dishes. Two little words that have made all the difference: Towel Fight. Once the dishes are dried, they can flip towels all they want. It's been so much fun. Not holding my breath, but I hope it lasts!
Chris flew out to Denver earlier this week to visit his Mom and Dad. Since rockhounding with his parents this summer, Chris has turned into a rock geek (and really, I shouldn't talk, since I like rocks a lot, too, but hey, it's my blog so I can give him a hard time). I think that every time I called he was polishing rocks with his Dad. He had a blast.

What's the excitement about rocks, you ask? Why in the world would you ever go rockhounding? (Yes, I know some of you thought that when I told you where we were headed this summer, but were too nice to say it!) If you don't like rocks, well, I guess you just don't like rocks. But if you do, you know that it's thrilling--almost like a treasure hunt--to find an amazing piece of rock (O.K., who's the rock geek now?). I have some pics I took earlier in the year from what we collected. Maybe this will give you some idea of why we like it.

Here's Chris deep in concentration,cutting open wonderstone on our deck with our neighbor's tile saw:
It is one of my favorite rock. Completely amazing-- I want to go back and collect more!!

The best piece. Ever.

Jasper Chris cut. He took this piece in his carry-on to Denver to polish and it turned out beautifully. Would you believe security didn't even bat an eye when he went through with a box full of rocks ("we see it all the time"). Azurite and chrysocolla. Two of my favorites. And yes, I have tons more pics of rocks, but seriously, if you aren't into them you are just scrolling down right now so I'm not going to post them--but if you are into rocks, you can just come on over to our house and look (if you haven't already).
Kierst started playing the cello this year. She wanted a pic taken to show her cousins because she's really excited about it. Somehow she's finding time to practice.

A few weeks ago there was a party at Chris' partner's house. They live on 10 acres about 15 minutes south of us--it is absolutely beautiful and amazingly peaceful there. If I didn't like being close to neighbors I would love living on a lot of acreage.

They held a few team-building activities that if nothing else are good for blackmail. For one activity they had to dress up and ride around (and over jumping posts) in the horse arena. Yeehaw! You can tell Chris is totally thrilled.
After all the team building stuff, we enjoyed the best brats and smoked meat in the area (from Fritz's), good conversation and great people.

A White Trash Moment?

Last weekend the kids had an extra day off. We decided to make the extra day a special movie night at home. So Kierst and I ran to Target and bought a new movie. Then walking out of the store, in a moment of--was it inspiration? weakness? white trashiness?--I thought of the snuggie.

Yes, THE snuggie--the as-seen-on-tv wonder, the--as one of my friends said-- " robe you put on backwards," the marvel of all marvels available in leopard and zebra prints (or plain!) for only 14.95 at Target. My kids have been dying for them ever since they saw the first infomerical (really, what haven't they wanted? Abs bugged me for months to buy those green bags that would magically keep our veggies fresher longer--FYI, I never gave in--I mean, just eat the veggies faster, people). I have to admit that the snuggie looked pretty attractive to me, too, because I'm always wrapped in a blanket when I'm in the basement. The snuggie was the perfect blanket-type thing to keep everyone warm while watching a movie on such a miserably cold and dreary and rainy day (not that we don't have a chest full of blankets sitting downstairs that we couldn't have used, but come-on--these have arms!)

Kierst and I marched back inside and selected snuggies for everyone (except for Chris, of course!). She could not have been more excited pulling them out to distribute to her sisters, who could not have been more excited to receive them.

Chris could not have rolled his eyes more.

My Heart Aches Today

I try to keep a positive note when blogging, but there are times when the only way for me to express myself is to write the words down. And I've been trying to keep my feelings repressed, but today I just can't not write about it anymore. Last week, Chris called me from work with the words I dreaded hearing: Trisomy 18.

Chris' brother and his wife have always wanted a large family and have been blessed with two great children. For the past 13 years they've been trying to have another one. I've seen them deal with failed IVF (after the babies took), clomid, miscarriages, ectopic pregnancy--and I probably don't know all of it. And through all of it they've bourne it all with grace--my sister in law is not a complainer and she is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. To see them go through all of this has been heartbreaking to say the least.

So when Chris' brother told us they were expecting, we were elated. We weren't sure this would happen, given the history, but he told us because he knew that they would need all the prayers of his family. We--along with the rest of the family--have spent a lot of time on our knees in prayer.

Last Tues. they came to KC to do advanced testing because their ultrasound had some negative findings. Then more chromosomal testing. The verdict: their child has Trisomy 18.

If you don't know, Trisomy 18 is chromosome abnormality. It is not compatible with life, meaning that the baby will either die before birth, or within about 2 weeks of birth. Chris has dealt with this in his practice--and it's never easy--but his voice shook with emotion when he he told me their diagnosis.

I know how to handle death and dying and sickness and funerals and all of that. I've been there and done that (as Chris likes to say, we're card carrying members now!). It's not like I haven't felt emotionally hurt before. When my sister's bright and intelligent son was diagnosed with autism my heart hurt more than I can even say. When I miscarried an 8-week old baby earlier this year, my heart hurt terribly. The news last week was really hard.

I wish I could do something to make their baby better, to take away the pain and hurt and anguish they must be feeling, but I don't know what to do. I wanted to jump in the car and drive to Manhattan and throw my arms around them and cry with them. But I couldn't. It was too hard. I wanted to call their doctors and tell them that their measurements were off, that they made a mistake, that the lab must have mixed up their results. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wanted to shake my fist at the world and say "Don't you know that this is the baby who's supposed to live? Don't you know what they've already been through? Why, for just this once, can't this baby be fine?" What can you do? How can you put all of your feelings into words? What more can you say than even though you cannot understand even a fraction of what they are going through you care so deeply for them that your heart literally aches for them?

All I can say is that we love you Jenny and Craig and family. Our prayers are with you.

Applesauce

I've already blogged about making salsa and freezing peaches, but another one of those (what do I call them?) Mormony-Martha Stewart things we like to do is make applesauce. Once you're used to homemade applesauce, you really can't eat store-bought (this is ditto for homemade jam, too--don't ever try to give Abs store-bought jam-she'll let you know what she thinks of it). Like with the peaches and salsa ingredients, we used to pick apples at Grandma and Grandpa Stapley's and then spend the day making applesauce with them (I already called, Julie, but you know we miss you!).
So yesterday, while Chris was at work, I piled the kids in the van and headed for a small orchard just west of Eudora, KS. The kids LOVED picking apples and quickly filled up 3 buckets with them (they would have done more, but I had to put some kind of limit on it).

Now we're used to picking as many apples as we want and not worrying about how much they weigh (and consequently paying for said apples), so I didn't think too much about filling 3 buckets full. When they were weighed, it totaled 75 lbs!!

When Chris got home we started on the apples--washing, coring, and cooking, washing jars and getting out all of the canning supplies. Kierst and Abs took turns putting apples through the strainer. Our kitchen smelled divine!

Kierst washed, I sliced and Lisi filled up the pots with the next batch.

Abs put the lids on the jars of applesauce and Kierst tightened the rings.

Then we had to sample the finished product--YUM! All except Lisi, that is. She is our picky eater and refuses to try almost everything. This is her "No, I don't want any" pose. Then after a few more minutes, she decided to try some after all. The verdict: delicious!We canned 18 jars. Of course, we still have about 50 lbs of apples to go, but by 8 last night we were done with apples. This week we'll be freezing apple pie filling, of course more applesauce, and today Chris is making an apple pie for Sunday dessert.

Dedication Ceremony

On Friday our new elementary school was dedicated. We weren't sure if we'd be going to it, then we found out that Kiersten's essay was one of two chosen to be read at the ceremony. So of course we had to go! Apparently it was a pretty big deal--there was a state senator, district representative, superintendents, etc. in attendance--Kiersten spent an hour practicing with her teacher before school and a lot of time the night before preparing. She did a great job!
Here's Abs waiting for the ceremony to start. Kierst waiting.

Kierst reading her essay.

Way to go, Kierst! We're so proud of you!

School Hoedown

Last weekend I helped co-chair a fall hoedown at the kids' school. We had lots of dancing, lots of donuts and cider, and great attendance. So much fun!!

Unfortunately, Chris got called in to the hospital about 10 minutes after he arrived--maybe next year!