It's Tough to Say Goodbye

Today was a tough day.

We went through all of our baby items and packed them up for donation. Would you believe that most of our storage room was filled with baby things?

Sigh.

I guess this means we're done having babies.

We thought for sure that we'd have one more, I've always wanted four children (growing up in a family of 3 girls I learned there's always one person left out and always one can from a six-pack of pop left over, do you get where I'm going with this?? Four is just convenient!).

Having a miscarriage last year, though, changed our plans. We weren't sure anymore, we've struggled since then to know what to do. We turned to God, where we always go for direction, we believe that God will guide you on the right path if you ask Him. We got on our knees and asked.

The answer was no.

I don't know why. All I know is that He's guided us many times and we've always been grateful that we've listened, things have always turned out.

So we packed up the baby gear today. Everything brought back memories, visions of Lisi falling asleep in her exersaucer and Abs as a 12 month-old pushing around her toys while trying to run, and Kierst playing with the same spinning toy until we thought we'd go crazy.

It's tough saying goodbye to that phase of my life, not that I love staying up half the night with crying children (I've had my fair share) or the little annoyances that come with the toddler stage(like picking up cupboard contents over and over that they've pulled out). But there's nothing better than holding a baby in your arms, her little fingers curled around yours, her bright eyes staring into yours, or when your child tries to take her tenative first steps towards you, the whole world just seems to sing with happiness at those times!

On a positive note, it is kind-of cool to say that all of our 3 girls were born in the 3rd month of the year 3 years apart (on the 3rd, the 26th and the 30th--that would be in 2000, '03, and '06--yes, there are 3's everywhere). Chris says three is his lucky number!

I guess I'll have to be satisfied holding the babies of all my friends and family! To Lindsay, Kathryn, Tausha, Valerie, Jenn, and Sara: I can't wait for your babies to arrive!!