Overcoming Fears

Yesterday I overcame one of my fears. I played tennis. No, it wasn't earth shattering, but for me it was an accomplishment. Let me give you a little background.
I started playing tennis in junior high. I did clinics, played on the junior high team, etc. I had the bug. By high school, I was at 5 a.m. weekday clinics at our club (before going to early morning seminary), and pretty much played every day except Sunday. In Idaho, you could play fall and spring tennis and so I did, then would go hit afterwards. I wasn't great, but I was decent.
Here's a pic of me and my partner at State in 1989 (was it really that long ago?-check out the bangs). We're getting coached right before our third set--I only remember because I wrote it on the back of the pic:) We ended up taking 2nd that year.
So in college I taught a couple of summers for a rec program, played a few intramurals, and hit whenever I could. I had always imagined that I would marry someone who was a really good tennis player, that our kids would start hitting from the time they could hold up a racquet, and that we would spend our spare evenings at the club. When that didn't happen, I kind-of gave up tennis for a while. Chris doesn't really play that much, but we would go out and hit now and then.
When we moved to Missouri, the nearest club was an hour away. Then med school, etc. started and we couldn't afford to join anywhere-and Chris was way too busy. During med school one of his friends asked me to sub on a team he played on, so I did. I went in cold to one game and was humiliated. All I can say about that experience was that it was awful.
I took the kids out now and then to play, but it seemed like we always had something else going on.
Flash forward to this fall. The kids asked me to take them out because they're interested in playing. Then a friend posted a pic of our tennis team from high school on facebook. Then the other co-room parent I'm working with told me she had joined a club. Then I started talking to other people. I got the bug again.
But could I really get back out on the court? It's been 14 years since I really played a set--if you don't count complete humiliation and I prefer to ignore that incident. So I met with a couple of pros last week to determine where my playing level was at. Quite a ways from where I used to be (again, not great, but decent back in the day), but I loved hitting again. Midcourt volleys, overheads,--my muscles tried to remember--my brain could, but making my muscles do it was another thing. But it hit me that it was time to play again. I've missed it too much not to. And it wasn't like Chris wouldn't support me in anything I want to do--he's always been supportive of anything I wanted to try. So he was on board--he even said he'd take lessons!
One pro said he would put me on the schedule to play this week. I could try out their leagues and see what I think. What? You're kidding me. I prefer not to completely and utterly embarass myself. He said it would be good to just try it out. So I agreed.
All morning yesterday I felt sick to my stomach. I can't say how nervous I was. But I did it. I overcame my fear. I played a set of singles. First to 8, win by two, one hour to play. Our final score was 6-4. I lost. I double faulted a few times. I hit a couple of homeruns, hit into the net, but I also hit a few winners. Was I as good as I used to be? No. But boy, it felt good to be out on the court! And I overcame my fear!! Today every muscle in my body hurts--I should say that after I finished yesterday every muscle in my body hurt. Abs started lessons last night.
This morning I'm playing again. Doubles. Haven't played that since the afore-mentioned humiliation 10 years ago. But today I'm not as much nervous as excited. I guess that's what happens when you overcome your fear.
It's like when you are little and standing by the side of the pool and your parents say, "jump!" but you're too afraid to because you don't know what will happen. Once you take that first jump you realize that you're going to be o.k.
What is your fear? Have you set something aside that you love because you're afraid of what will happen? Are you afraid to try something new? My challenge to you is to try it and see what happens. It could be humiliating. You could double-fault twice in one game. But it might awaken in you something that you've forgotten was there.
*postscript: doubles lots of fun--didn't trust myself enough to poach. was invited to split court time with a group of women--yay!